To Whom It May Concern,
I just wanted to thank you for the opportunity to attempt to lower the premium my family pays for me to have life insurance through your awesome company. When my family initially signed up for life insurance many years ago I was in the worst physical shape of my life and could have been a stunt double for Jabba The Hut. I was recently scared straight by my doctor and have since lost close to 60 pounds and run 100 miles per month on average. I haven't been in this good of shape since my senior year in high school. Thus, my wife thought since I now look like a GQ Model and the way every penny counts in our shitty economy, what better time to have your company come back out and take some blood and urine and confirm that I'm no longer such a huge health risk.
I was saddened to find out that in your company eyes I am still a health risk and there will be no change in the amount we pay for my insurance. This does a lot for my self esteem. There are fatally obese people all over the world crying with me as I read your rejection letter. Well have it your way bitches!!! I will no longer run hundreds of miles per month. Fast food, sodas, candy bars and any other type of empty calories, Jason Back Baby!!! Let's party!!! I'm going to live it up. Liquor stores beware and hide your bottles of Southern Comfort.
I have a better idea. Have the committee that decides who is a high risk and who is not come to Sarasota one weekend. Hell, let me know what weekend and I'll pay for the plane tickets to get you here and even put you up at the Hacienda De Bennett. Once here we will all wake up around 5:00 AM on Sunday and go for a little 10 mile run or so. At the end of the run I would like to be re-evaluated by the group to see if I am still a risk.
Do I think there is a snowballs chance in hell that you will be making flight arrangements to Florida. Shit No!!! You pussies are in the odds business and you only know how to judge people from a no good report on an eight by eleven and a half piece of paper. The report is based solely on statistics that does not take in account the many different human body types that people could have. I'm sure the test would find over 80% of the NFL players as high risk for health insurance based on their body types.
In closing, I will be eagerly awaiting the dates when you are available to accept my challenge. Until then I will continue to improve myself and think that insurance companies are one of the many things that are screwed up in our country. Oh Yeah, Go Fuck Yourself!!! I had to fast for 12 hours to retake that test assholes. Peace Out!!!
Thursday: 4 miles 36 minutes 686 calories
Friday: 5.37 miles 56 minutes 937 calories
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1 comment:
Maybe inviting them down is NOT such a good idea. After the 3rd person tries to run you down with their work truck, they may just cancel the policy altogether...
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