Open Letter to the City and people of Ft. Lauderdale!!!

Dear fine people of Ft. Lauderdale,

Thursday night my family and I will be visiting you for the weekend. If you happen to run into my family don't let on that they are actually in Ft. Lauderdale. You see they are conditioned to think if they are traveling in a car for over two hours than they are going to Walt Disney World. Little do they know the only Mickey, Minnie, Daisy or Donald that they have a chance to meet this weekend will probably be over the age of 90, and wearing Depends instead of costumes. Please play along with them, Disney is all they really know. Hell, if you would come to our hotel with balloons and popcorn our family would feel right at home and definitely pay top dollar for such items. Anywho...

The main reason for visiting your fine community, is the half marathon you are holding this Sunday morning. I want to apologize in advance for what my quick running pace may do to your fine roadways and landscape areas. You might want to have the local fire stations on standby on Sunday morning for the flame trail that I'll probably be leaving on the designated race course. Unless you see me the Friday or Saturday roaming with the locals, you will be hard pressed to see me on Sunday morning. Ever see a falling star??? You probably have!!! I'll look like that only much bigger!!! And No!!! Not because I'm really fat!!! Because I'm so much closer to you mere mortals than an actual falling star. I believe the running community thinks of me more of a "Rising Star", but enough about me. I will now make my race predictions/goals for Sunday.

1.) Run half marathon under 2 hours.

2.) Preform Hari Kari ritual at finish line if goal #1 is not met.

3.) My half prediction: 1 hour 51 minutes (Do-able, but would be an improvement of 12 minutes from earlier this year)

4.) Have fun during the race.

5.) Don't shit my pants, thus keeping my record clean ( so to speak)

6.) Continue to look for potential "Trophy Wives", what better place to look than the Ft. Lauderdale area.

7.) Keep streak alive of ending each blog with "Peace Out"!!!